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Cooking BooBoos

Normally it is me who is clumsy in the kitchen and not that logical so I feel I have the right (and I got permission) to post this.
To my darling major_clanger; I'm sorry that I curled up laughing on the floor when you tried to finish off an undercooked boiled egg in the microwave and it went bang.  If I were being honest I would have to say that as the lid was off I didn't know it would go bang.

Anyone admit to any kitchen faux pas?  I once tried to fizz milk in a soda stream.  Mum let me.  I was 7.  And I cleaned up. 


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I once spent an entire evening helping my boyfriend clear up the kitchen in his docklands flat. He opened the microwave door on an exploding baked potato.

It took me about half an hour to stop laughing, I must admit, as he was also covered from head to toe in mashed potato. I found out later that he actually had some quite nasty burns, but he was more worried about the state of the flat in case his father came round.

So. Awesome.

At any rate. Only *yesterday* I made a fish pie with a sauce that was obviously, in retrospect, far too runny, with the result that the mash dissolved in the sauce in the oven and everyone got ladles of mashy, fishy goop. I was mortified but everyone thought it was delicious so that's probably all right... Luckily only the family.

But I've lost count of the number of times that stuff's gone wrong and I've pretended it was always meant to be like that.

Snorted with laughter so loud I scared the cat. Well Done That Man.

I don't think I've ever actually poisoned anybody.

I had a big experimentation with slow cooking a couple of years back, but I hate single-purpose gadgets, and I have an oven and a decent thermometer, so I figured that would work. Research suggested that the LOW setting for slow cookers is about 77C, so I put a casserole in for nine hours with the oven at 77C, then served it to my sister and her family.

The meat was barely cooked, and the vegetables were flat-out raw. They very kindly offered to eat it, but I couldn't impose that on them, so spooned it all back into the cass. and gave it another 90 minutes at a decent temperature.

We were not happy campers. And I still don't really have it right yet.

I've seen this sort of thing recommended by tv chefs - at even lower temperature - which might not even kill the bacteria.


My story.... I once crushed an egg carton in my shared student house only to discover there was still an egg in it.

Did you check the temp with an oven thermometer? I got bitten by that once, ending up with undercooked food; upon checking I found that the oven could vary by up to 20 degrees C from the number on the dial. Even with an actual slow cooker, mind, I find veg tend towards the underdone.

I did, which is why I mentioned that I had it. The oven was where it should have been, I guess that just wasn't warm enough to do the job in the time available.

Oops - I skipped over that. I wonder whether it's a heat transfer thing - air in the oven vs. porcelain walls of the slow cooker, but I'd have thought 9 hours would be more than enough to overcome that effect...

you tried to finish off an undercooked boiled egg in the microwave and it went bang

That would be the yolk membrane rupturing.

Almost as much fun as microwaving a block of butter - you get a really messy explosion when the solid outside finally gives way to the superheated liquid core.

Ah. Now I know.

As for the butter,is that perchance the voice of experience?

Indeed it is.

That was the last time that ias asked me to soften butter for baking for her.

funnily enough, I have done the very same thing with an egg. In my defense, it was the first time I had used a microwave, and it did have a setting that seemed to suggest it would cook an egg (so long ago I can't remember exactly what it said.)This happened while I was staying with my boyfriend for a weekend, in a house he shared with several other people, none of whom I knew. It's just lucky none of them were home at the time...

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